Do you feel different from one day to the next? The world can seem like a completely different place depending on the day. Depending on my outlook. But is the world really a different place? No, it’s the same. It’s the same sun, the same tree, the same neighbors, the same.
Does your body feel different from one day to the next? For men, perhaps not so much. But we women can relate to the ups and downs and fluctuations of the female body, and the female sensitivities that can make us notice things and sense things differently, truly depending on what day it happens to be. We might feel sexy and feminine one day, and like a bump on a log the next. Nothing has actually changed except our perception.
Perceptions and intuitions and sensitivities can even make me feel like a different person sometimes. Especially if I base my identity, my sense of who I am, on a moving target like my performance. One day I might do everything right, and so I feel good about myself. I am ok. I am actually pretty darn amazing.
But the next day, I might struggle with old demons. I might be irritable and short-tempered. I might make a huge mistake, like sending out a last minute wedding ring via ground service instead of express. If “who I am” is based on “what I just did”, well then, I’m a horrible person today.
And that’s a hard way to live if you want to have a sense of continuity, a sense of groundedness, and a steady path to a higher self.
I was reminded yesterday that I can avoid this little game of changing identities by going back to my source – God – who has given me a rock solid identity that never changes, no matter how many stupid mistakes I make. God is perfect, and he is the perfect parent – he doesn’t turn his back on you when you fail. He sees you the same way every day, separate from your behavior. He knows everything about you already, so nothing you do in the future will shock or surprise him. Nothing hidden in your past is hidden from his eyes. He has already seen it all with his loving eyes, and he has decided to love you, and that is that. Your identity is securely fastened to his omnipotence and it never changes.
On the days when you are tempted to give up on yourself, remember that God hasn’t changed his view of you. His mercies are new every morning and there is no “shadow of turning” from where he sits. Move yourself to God’s perspective; see yourself through his eyes. Carry on!