*note: unlike other blogs, the posts on this blog are in chronological order. Instead of having the newest post first, the oldest post is first and each post below it is newer.
when I actually sit down to write, many times I don’t even start writing because an overwhelming lack of energy overtakes me. All of a sudden all those burning ideas just seem like too much work. I have a long but interesting story to tell, but I just don’t have the energy. And then I feel depressed. But things have been coming to me, messages from the divine, to remind me that I have a story and I need to tell it. And every day that I waste without making progress on this goal weighs on me like a stone in a satchel, and every day the burden gets a little heavier.
I know that many writers will sit and ask God to speak through them before they start. I forget to do this sometimes but it does help.
Some things that happened to me 6 years ago or so seem to have stifled my ability to let my words out. It feels like there is poison in there and if I let it out people are going to be hurt. I have some hard things to say and I feel like I am constantly censoring myself when I write. It tends to block the flow a bit, you know? I know that I am supposed to share my story. Seems like I might be afraid of the backlash I might get. Or maybe I just don’t want to hurt people. A lot of the people who have been major characters in my story are dead now. But not all of them. I’ve had some advice: just write it and worry about details like that when you’re done. But the Internet is now. It’s instant. I write, I click the button and it’s live. So that’s a bit different. Sounds like I am making excuses now.
My story is made up of many shorter stories. God grant me the strength, energy, courage, and perseverance to write these stories down. It needs to be done. I want to do it.
Photograph courtesy of photosteve101