I can do this for one month. I have recently seen the power of just committing to something, just for now. So I have decided to create my own personal blogging challenge and I’m starting it today. Until March 19th, each day I will write a blog post and publish it. I will not set it to private later on when I am feeling that vulnerability hangover. I will leave it out there, come what may. I will be brave.
And I’m starting today.
I logged into my blog today and looked over all the posts that I have hidden (that would be *all* of them) and they’re really not too bad. I unhid some of them. It seems like a lot of the time when I stick my proverbial neck out, shame takes its big old foot and stomps it right down on that unprotected proverbial neck.
Shame is a liar though.
I’ve been through a lot in the past three years, more than I would have ever wanted and yet, I would be incomplete without the trauma of almost losing my beloved and treasured son to an utter scourge.
I’m going to ask him later today if it is OK now to talk about it because I really need to get it out. And I fully well realize what a blessing it is to be able to ask him and to feel like it is a good question to ask and to know that we have come so very far. But I also know there is always more road to travel in this life, I know that “arrival” does not exist.
But I have to say that, after a long hard trod, this part of the road seems pretty good, pretty easy, pretty smooth. And because I am learning to ease down into the moment by moment of life, I get to rest here in this relatively easy patch and really soak it up and enjoy it and gather my strength for whatever challenge comes next.
I can hear my husband saying to me (figuratively, but I feel like he would really say this), don’t assume you know what the future holds. I don’t know what the future holds specifically, but I think I can say unequivocally that there will be challenges. Should I focus on those or try to figure out what they will be? No, that is not prudent.
but they will come.
they are coming.
So, I’d better sit here and enjoy the relative peace.