Yesterday I shared about my struggle with the toxic emotion of shame. This is probably the number one challenge in my life from which all other challenges stem.
But I’m not a loser.
I say that for a couple of reasons. First, I want you to know (and I want to remind myself) that my good qualities far outweigh the places where I need to improve.
Second, if you are someone who identifies with the struggles I share, if it resonates with you, if you find yourself held back by your own fears and sorrow and anger – well, I want you to know that your good qualities far outweigh your areas that need improvement.
And I want you to know that there is something you can do to overcome your shame. It is simple – not always easy – but it is simple.
Yes, I struggle with shame sometimes. And when I go down with that ship, I fall hard. It can get ugly for a while.
But I don’t fall for long. I’m passionate about finding my way back up again. I listen to the truth even when it hurts. I go back to what I know about myself – that I am loved, that I am loveable, that I am redeemed, that I am worth the effort.
And when I find my way back up out of the pit, I don’t rest on those laurels. I am constantly on the hunt to root out inconsistencies, hypocrisies, ignorance, and other unhealthy behaviors from my life. I work hard at this because I know that everything I do for others is made more effective when I figure out what makes me tick first.
When life knocks me down, I get right back up.
I feel compelled to work out the puzzle of me while I am still here on this planet. I have a feeling that this kind of work can never be completed but I am not going to stop peeling back the infinite layers of the complexity of me.
The more self-aware I am the more I can see what the current problem is, and right it before it goes too far.
The more self-aware I am, the easier it is for me to offer words of wisdom to my children and grandchildren and other family members and friends.
The more self-aware I am, the less I suffer from the slings and arrows of others, because I know that everyone has wounds that cause them to hurt themselves and others.
I become more stable. I know that I am here for a purpose and I know that God walks with me on this journey. I don’t have to worry about anything because I know that everything happens the way it needs to happen.
I forgive myself faster and easier because I give myself the same grace and mercy that I extend to everyone else.
Life is short and we don’t have much time, so I don’t have time to waste in unforgiveness toward myself or others.
I let people be themselves and I don’t need all my questions answered. (This is a big one for me and I admit that I have a long way to go in feeling at ease with this but I have also progressed a great deal.)
I corral my desires, urges, passions, and vices; understanding that there is deep satisfaction and health in abstaining.
In none of these things am I perfect. There is no such thing. But in all these things I am progressing, learning, and growing. My goal is to grow wiser, sweeter, kinder, more at ease and more patient, and healthier in mind and body, the older I get.
Yeah, it’s a rocky road sometimes. Yes, I make big mistakes that give me reason to regret. I lose things that are precious to me sometimes and I do really dumb things.
“Nana korobi, ya oki” – Fall seven times, stand up eight.
That is the key to success in life. Get up one more time.
I’m up.
