multiethnic group of young people studying with notebook and laptop

Yesterday I stumbled upon an old journal of mine from 2012 and as I read the pages I realized that in nine years not too much has changed. I still have the same major concerns: being a good wife, hoping for a great life for my kids, and my weight.

That was kind of depressing. I still have the same problems? Really? I haven’t solved anything at all? I would hope that after nine years I might at least have graduated to new issues.

As I pondered that reality, I was able to see that even though I do have a lot of the same things I’m dealing with after nine or more years, I have learned to comport myself in a better way. I believe that in many ways I am more gracious to myself, more accepting of the foibles and disappointments of life, and more at peace.

I am attacking my problems in every way possible and I know that eventually, if I don’t give up, I will make inroads and keep on becoming a better person.

I am much better now at letting go of things and relationships that don’t serve a good purpose in my life, and in the case of relationships, aren’t helping the other person either. I am paring down, losing “weight” in that area, and feeling freer with fewer possessions and fewer friendships.

I am also letting go of unreasonable ambitions and unnecessary distractions that take me away from the things that are most important to me – my family.

One of the things about social media that I have realized is that it lures us with the promise of fame. Everyone can be “famous” now, and that’s a very sneaky but tempting morsel of bait for a lot of us. I took the bait. Even just a few followers on Instagram or Facebook can give me a feeling that I have a platform, that I’m being noticed, that people are eager to see photos of my creations and my beautiful kids and grandkids or where I ate dinner last night. As if.

Whenever things get tough in “real life”, I can get on social media and post something for my fake fans and wait for the little dopamine hits that come from likes and comments and shares. Or I can get involved in some debate that only serves to ratchet up my negative emotions or to make me feel like I’ve won an argument – a completely useless argument and a complete waste of time.

A distraction from reality. Even when I cannot think of anything to post and I don’t want to argue, I can sit and scroll. Sit and scroll. What am I looking for? What sort of surge of chemicals in my brain to make me temporarily feel better am I trying to produce?

Maybe there is a correlation between the last nine years and the time I have wasted on social media. Maybe I could have been solving my problems instead of avoiding them.

Maybe. I know that leaving social media behind is not going to hurt me.

It might even help me a great deal.


  1. The last couple of months I was losing interest in Facebook. The past two years I’ve been going through a spiritual awakening if people want to call it that these days. I guess it’s God tapping me on the shoulders and trying to get my attention. And as He continued to open my eyes I was starting to look at life differently. For a long time I’ve had issues with holding on to the past and things that doesn’t really do me a service for my spiritual growth or walk with Him. I’m just now beginning to see my worth and even then when I make a mistake I do have a bad habit of beating up myself about it. And Facebook I noticed hasn’t really been a help on building self esteem or any type of growth. And you’re right it’s so easy to get caught in it. I too had the habit of coming to Facebook and checking in to see what peoples statues was or if someone liked my comment or picture. Not too long ago my Facebook was set up for complete deletion and then I got tempted to come back on again Lolol! .. I need to be stronger than that. And I know Facebook is kind of a waste of time. As I grow older I don’t even like being in a situation to where I have to argue with someone and lately even if the person wants to believe that 2+2=5 I’m at the point in my life to where , hey I stated the truth and I know my truth and if the person wants to be a moron they can go knock themselves out, cause eventually that person’s ignorance will eventually come bite them in the butt. As for me I’m still at peace and I just continue to do the best I can at whatever direction God is sending me towards. Anyways I will be deleting Facebook soon permanently. I just need to go to CVS or Walgreens and get a memory card or print pictures out, there are some good pictures on there I don’t want to loose and then there’s I don’t want to loose my connection with you and the rest of the family. I do love you and the rest of the family.

    1. We love you too! We will stay in touch regardless of our Facebook deletions 😃😃 I agree about not wanting to argue… I like my peacefulness!

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