surrender

today I am focusing on the idea of non-resistance

it’s called surrender

perhaps all of life’s suffering comes about because of resistance

because I am trying to fight against things over which I have no control

I cannot fix some things

I really cannot fix anything that is outside of me

I can have the illusion of having fixed something outside of me but it is only temporary at best

so what if I thought something was off with this or that person

it’s not my duty to manage the emotions of others

it’s the push back that makes me crazy

my own push back

but when I just relax and realize that all I have to do is accept, surrender

that is when peace comes

that is the peace of Jesus

not as the world gives

I accept it

I declare everything is as it should be

and I carry on

I settle down

into small things, things I really can change and fix

I don’t have to settle for less with myself

I open myself to more

when I surrender to life

I accept that some things come difficult or not at all

even as I am accepting the challenge to better myself, to reach deeper

to find the imago dei

it’s there, it’s just hidden under so many layers of me

my pain, my stubborn desires, my sorrow, my aspirations

way down there under all of that

at the core of who I am

who I was made to be

there is the image of God

that is the reason Jesus was resurrected

my body will die

but this image in me will never die

it is always at peace

it is always at one with life

this is the me who finds joy in the simplest things

the woman who is content no matter her circumstances

the person who does not need

the observer

thank you Father for creating me in your image

and giving me the time and space to find that part of me

the part of me that can bring the most to the kingdom

that can give the most to others

I don’t want to clamor

to gather

to grab

to hoard

anything for myself

that’s a tall order and a high bar

but when I leave this dimension I won’t be taking things with me

not even my body

so it’s best not to become too attached

best to travel light

help me to sink into each moment today

to enjoy the small things

getting my hands dirty in the garden soil

then getting them clean in the dishwater

a simple cup of coffee

and time to write my thoughts

wondering if it will rain

taking a little nap

being unconcerned about evenings and mornings and what-ifs

the monsters are there but they grow dim and soft the less I care

whatever will be will be, I guess we will see

a deep breath and relaxation